Something's Weird Around Here
by M-T
Summary: One shot. Junior is bored and goes to find someone to bug and stumbles upon something he hasn't seen before. What's the big deal?


Junior sat down on a chair in his room tired from playing with his painted slime creations. He leaned his head on his hands and watched the blob squids jump and implode upon a piranha plant then breathed deeply. This was boring. He had no one to play with other than his dad, who was always busy thinking up of some new plot, that old hag and apprentice of his father's, Kammy Koopa, who was probably the most prehistoric being on earth and was always with his dad doing errands, and all the rest of the Koopa minion goons who worked for his father and hung around. None of those guys would dare play with the boss's son fearing the worst if something bad were to happen.

Sighing he got up and left his room to go find something else to do or bug someone. As he strode down the hallway to his father's room the sound of voices from the den caught his attention. It was King Koopa himself and his assistant, the old ghoul. Instead of entering he meekly spied from the open crack of the door. It might be interesting for once to hear what they were up to this time. Perhaps he could sneak along if they were going to go anywhere and decided to leave him behind again.

Kammy was wearing the usual old purple and pink get up as she held to her staff and followed along behind the mighty Koopa Troopa. King Bowser seemed more peeved than normal as he walked back and forth across the room. Junior figured Mario had something to do with it since it was the only time he'd seen his dad so annoyed by something but then again why would he care if he had not yet kidnapped Peach. Why did his dad like Mamma Peach so much? Well… she wasn't his mother, he'd just gotten use to saying that. That thought struck Junior. Who was his real mom then? He lost himself as the ancient witch began to talk.

"Sire, it is unnerving to see you in this condition. I insist we walk over to the medical koopa's office."

What? His dad was sick? He'd never seen his dad sick before. He'd never even heard of his dad being ill before. He heard things spoken behind his dad's back from the guards and goons at the castle while they didn't know he was listening. They constantly gossiped about the many reasons why the king liked kidnapping the princess and getting a thrashing from his enemy. Some theories went as far as saying he was gay and enjoyed the spanking or that the princess voluntarily came along to hang out. He hadn't told his that about what the guys say because then he'd have nothing to do around the castle, listening to the minions was one of the only things he had. Much of the talk was stupid and kind of funny too.

Bowser continued to walk totally ignoring Kammy's advice. No duh. A mighty king was never to show weakness and claim to be among the weaklings… even if he got beat up so much.

"How about a nice tasty tonic?" She went on suggesting hoping he will listen. "Or how a bout a shroom cake to settle yourself down?"

His father hadn't said a word yet. Amazing due to the fact he didn't find his company all that to his liking. She was just there cause… cause… man… why was she his apprentice? She's old, bothersome, and kind of stupid. You'd think that with all the time she'd lived she would have gained some experience or something.

"Ah. I know. The beach. You can go to the beach and bask under the sun and relax."

Now that idea sounded like something she'd like to do. Junior admitted it was probably more fun than tagging behind his mad dad. He then remembered that this one time he had heard one of the paratroopas talking about how his father acted weird every once in a while which hardly anyone seen him do or more then his unusual as it is self. Most just concluded the king was weird as it was so no big deal. Hmm. What about those who might have known why he was acting like so? Junior decided to go scope out some info and proceeded to the end of the hall. Only the most loyal to the king were allowed to watch over the doors leading to his and his son's bed quarters.

"So… King Bowser hasn't been out in a while again. You know what that means."

Junior heard them speaking from the other side of the door as he pressed his head against it to get a better reception. What did he mean by 'you know what that means?' I guess they were the few that did know why he was sick.

"I mean really, why not just go to the doctor's? He'd get a quick check up and they'd do a couple of procedures and they're done. It's like immunity for life."

The other guard spoke up. Immunity for life? That would be awesome. Why didn't his dad do that? Wait… they had a way to not make anybody sick as long as they live?

"Yeah." The first guard said agreeing and paused. "Hey, do you remember the red one?"

"Oh yeah. God. That thing was awful and ugly." He also stopped to reflect. "Man, and the one with the glasses."

"How many were there? Seven?"

"I think. Who knows? We haven't been around all that long. There might have been more not including the latest new one."

"What could he be thinking? I would have stopped after the first time if it were me… heck, I'd never even let it be."

"You freak. I'd never image myself like that."

"Just for that I promise I'm going to find a way to make you like that. I'm sure if the doctor can stop it he can make it be also."

"What! You wouldn't dare!"

"I'm sure there are some potions out there that could do the trick as well. You know. Slip it in one of your drinks and you'd never know… that is till later."

"Whoa! You're joking, right man?" The guard seemed a little paranoid. Why in the world would he be? Then there was a long pause and the first one broke out laughing. Why was he laughing? What was going on?

"Man, you should've seen the look on your face when I said that."

The other guard let out a long breath of relief. "Don't scare me like that. That's some weird crap."

"It would've been funny though."

"I thought you were serious. I mean, could you image if I went home and they found out? I have enough problems as it is with my wife, kids, and all. I and they both wouldn't take it to well."

Both of the security guards began cracking up which was frustrating Junior because he still didn't know why his dad was sick. Contagious maybe by the way they spoke of it and something real bad at that too. Some loyal koopas they were making fun of his dad.

They began to settle down and first one caught his breath. "Yeah. It was bad enough when me and my wife went to the medics. I was already wetting myself and to think to…"

The guards went silent and clinging of metal could be heard as both the guards stiffened to the position of attention. Junior was puzzled. Why had they stopped talking? He turned around to see Kammy walking down the hallway towards the door. Oh. Junior quickly hid behind a nearby pillar as the doors were opened and she headed out down the stairway. He moved back into position but the guards weren't saying anything. Junior guessed that Kammy was still on the other side probably waiting for the boss to come. Great. He waited for his dad to come down the hall any second but nothing. What could be keeping him?

Junior made his way back to the den door and slid the door open a crack. His dad was sitting down on his rather large dark purple-ish red chair reading a book. Reading a book! Now _that_ was really weird. Bowser didn't like to read for beans… even if he liked beans or not. That's what they had all been talking about? Reading? That didn't seem very coherent. By the looks of it he was struggling to read it also.

What? That couldn't really be it, could it? That was so lame. Agh.

Junior scratched his head and shook it off. Oh well. He went to his room to retrieve his humongous paintbrush and went outside to experiment what would happen it he pushed a paint squid into a nearby lava pit. It was kind of dumb how everybody reacted to that though. Just because you read books. Sheesh.

End.

* * *

Disclaimer:I don't own any of the Nintendo characters. 

Ok. Fine. The story doesn't end there.

* * *

Bowser stared at the book. He hated reading but knew it was the only way to get him mad enough to get it over with. His body tensed up and his joints ached as a couple drops of sweat ran down his face. There had to be an easier way of coping with this. Maybe if he pictured kicking Mario's butt and finally winning for once, peacefully living with Peach as he conquered the world. He forgot what his predicament was as he day dreamed until his body went limp. Hey, that did work. Not bad.

He sighed as he had many times before and got up. Would he keep this one this time? When would he tell his son? His son was still too young and probably wouldn't like it. Forget it.

He placed the book back on the shelf he had gotten it and faced his chair again. On it lay an egg a little larger than a football that had not previously been there when he first sat down.

"Oh well."

Bowser grabbed it and chucked it out the window.

"Touch down! Gwar har har." He laughed menacingly and left the room without another moments thought as he had done times before.

Meanwhile Junior played with the ink squids by drawing them and pushing a bunch into the lava pit and they exploded. Suddenly a squid that was about to touch the molten rock burst splatting Junior with paint as something bounced off of it.

"What the!"

Junior looked around to what could've happen to the squid and spotted an egg a foot or so safely away and unharmed from him.

"Oh cool."

The end.

Disclaimer: This was a weird idea that came to me when I was heading to school with my sister. Somewhow we started to talk about Mario and she asked where Junior came from. I suggested he was asexual and that's were it came from. I couldn't get it out of my head so I wrote a story. Be happy I did something.

I am aware I have no clue what Bowser's castle is actually like so I made whatever up. Also this story is like a mix of Super Mario Sunshine and Paper Mario if you haven't already figured that out. Lastly I'm not sure if this is actually considered humorous so tell me what you think.


End file.
